02/07/01

Contacts:
Rand Conger, Sociology, (515) 294-4518
Barb McManus, Ag Communications, (515) 294-0707

ROMANTIC CHOICES INFLUENCED BY CHILD-PARENT RELATIONSHIPS

AMES, Iowa -- True or False: How you conduct your romantic relationship is a reflection of what you learned from watching your parents relate?

The answer is false according to researchers at Iowa State University's Institute for Social and Behavioral Research. The institute's findings indicate that your romantic choices and behaviors are influenced by the direct one-to-one relationship you had as a child with your parents, not by the way your parents interacted as a couple.

"The results go against the common idea that we learn to relate to our partners by watching our parents relate with each other," said Rand Conger, an ISU sociology professor and research scientist with the institute.

The results are based on observations made by trained investigators who have spent time observing families. The research, which spans an 11-year period, also includes family surveys and videotaped interactions between adolescents, siblings and parents.

The researchers have observed the children in these families since they were 12 years old. In 1997 researchers observed 193 of the same children who were in their twenties and in on-going relationships.

"Adolescents who grew up with parents who were warm and supportive tended to develop similar relationships with their romantic partners," Conger said. "Those adolescents were more likely to form satisfying, committed relationships."

The situation was reversed if children grew up in families that were not supportive. Those children tended to have unstable and unhappy relationships as adults. Conger said the research information may help counselors work with families to treat and prevent marital difficulties.

"Problems like marital conflict and divorce are detrimental to the people involved," Conger said. "When conflicts arise children's lives are jeopardized socially, emotionally and economically."

Similar research is typically retrospective and results depend on an individual's memory about relationships. Conger said this study has given researchers a chance to observe family interactions spanning three generations.

"Our project is pretty rare," Conger said. "We were able to interview adolescents in seventh grade and continue interviewing them into adulthood."

The results suggest that children from single-parent families may do just as well as those from two-parent families in romantic relationships, as long as they have equally supportive parents. Conger said the results indicate that parenting has a major impact on later relationships, independent of the quality of the parents' marriage.

The research is part of the Iowa Youth and Families Project, which began monitoring the emotional health of families during the 1980s farm crisis. The study has allowed researchers to track families during the past 12 years.

The study began in 1989 with 451 two-parent families. In 1991 researchers added 200 single-mother families with similarly aged children. The institute has received funding from the National Institute of Mental Health to continue the study until June 2004.

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